Its about making memories worth repressing
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Randomize
