My room smells like vodka and shame
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
