..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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