Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
