either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
