4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
