i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize
