in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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