i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
