This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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