Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
i think my cat just said my name.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
