Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
