so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
