Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
