And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
