Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
