After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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