I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
