I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
