Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
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