do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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