Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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