yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
