stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Randomize
