I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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