i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
