I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Randomize
