That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
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