Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
