"it" just moved
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
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