so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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