Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Randomize
