i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
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