dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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