How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Randomize
