Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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