Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
