And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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