There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
