WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
