You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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