I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
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