Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
