Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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