Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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