I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
