going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
