Pappa wants mamma naked
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Randomize
