I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
