What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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