the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
this just has baby written all over it
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Randomize
